Why is my arse the perfect height for kicking

Photo thanks to Diana Broeders

As we walked into Het Paard last night it was practically empty. Are these the only 12 people that got tickets for the concert we wondered? By the time support act The Postmarks started playing we might have made it to 20. They played a suitably sullen few songs until for some reason the lead singer cheered up and the band made us all come closer to fill in the big awkward gap. Much better.

By the time Bell X1 took the stage the room had just about enough people in it to not be embarassing. Thankfully, what we lacked in numbers we made up for in enthusiasm. There was a warm reception for all the songs, particularly from a small but noticeable Irish delegation of ladies. The band played a diverse setlist, making sure to play their better known material such as Flame, Bad Skin Day, Rocky Took a Lover and of course their modest Talking Heads soundalike hit The Great Defector. Even the song that first brought the band to my attention: Eve the Apple of my Eye.

I went to this show because friend and Bell X1 advocate CoR invited me. I know and like a few of their songs, but was never properly grabbed by the Bell X-bug. I would have to say that this remains the same after the concert. In a way that’s odd, because I can’t fault the band. Paul Noonan has a good voice and puts his soul into his performance, the band is solid and their songs are decent. Maybe it’s a classic case of “It’s not you, it’s me” for me and these Dublin boys.

I really enjoyed the show all the same. The intimate setting was a nice change from some of the overcrowded sardine tin concerts I’ve recently been to. Highligts for me were the frenzied performance of Tongue, and Noonan’s very impressive attempts to speak Dutch! Hoofd, schouders, knie en teen!

You’ll never find me now

Thoughts whilst on my own waiting for a gig to start:

• Must find a good spot. Now that socialising is not a factor I should at least see the band properly.
• Must check my email. And Twitter. And Facebook.
• Ok, try not to look self conscious.
• God these two girls in front of me never shut up!
• Why does the woman in the pink mumu keep looking at me?
• People must think I’m some sort of social outcast! No no, there are many completely normal reasons I could be here alone. Maybe the person I was going with suddenly died. Hmm that’s a bit dramatic. Swine flu perhaps.
• Wow that Dave Grohl of a guy over there is cute!
• Have I checked my mail yet?
• Right, I am now embracing my new found coolness as lone gig attendee. I am an independent cultured young woman about town.
• Is mumu lady trying to cruise me!?
• Maybe I should write all of this down.
• Oo now I might look like some hip music journalist type who goes to gigs alone all the time, professionally. Excellent!
• I should check my mail.

And what was the actual gig you might wonder? It was Grizzly Bear at the Melkweg and it was wonderful! Opener Southern Point was stunning and towards the end Foreground was breathtaking, not a noise in the room.

But I have realised that when it comes to this Brooklyn foursome there is only so much of their dream sequence soundscapesque harmonious ooh- ing and ahh-ing I can take before I crave one of Daniel Rossen’s lead vocal songs that at least resembles the concept of a song and has vaguely intelligible lyrics.

Other than that: fantastic!

I’m always in this twilight

Photo by Fotografieke

The Machine started playing, the Melkweg crowd waited in anticipation, and suddenly on walked two metres worth of legs in killer heels, attached to the rest of Florence. As she stood behind her flower covered mic stand, spotlight bouncing off her intense red hair, she had already won half the match.

Since seeing Florence + The Machine at Lowlands in August they seem to have gone for a more down tempo approach in quite a few songs in the set. Particularly early on, songs like My Boy Builds Coffins and Kiss With A Fist were performed slower and more drawn out. Halfway through, the energy picked up when Florence instructed the audience to start jumping during Dog Days Are Over.

Photo by Fotografieke

I really enjoyed the next few songs, highlights would have to be Howl, Cosmic Love and Fever Ray’s If I Had A Heart introduction to a beautiful performance of Blinding. There was a two song encore with You Got The Love and, of course, Rabbit Heart.  It was quite a short set, I was left wanting more. Shame, because I’m sure some of her demo material, Hardest Of Hearts for instance, would stand up fine.

All in all a wonderful evening with the beautiful spellbinding songstress Florence and her Machine. Although, dare I say I did miss a bit of oomph in songs like Drumming Song and Hurricane Drunk, and a bit of sparkle compared to the magic of Lowlands?

SETLIST

01 Bird song
02 My boy builds coffins
03 Kiss with a fist
04 Are you hurting the one you love
05 I’m not calling you a liar
06 Hurricane drunk
07 Two lungs
08 Dog days are over
09 Howl
10 Druming Song
11 Cosmic Love
12 Blinding (intro: Fever Ray’s If I had a heart)
— encore —
13 You got the love
14 Rabbit heart (raise it up)

Take the money and run

You’ve got to hand it to the innovative folks at Dutch copyright organisation Buma/Stemra, they’ve done it! They’ve found a clever way to battle all this file sharing malarky the kids seem to be so caught up in these days. I mean, the whole “internet thing” has onviously gotten way out of hand and somebody needs to step up to the plate.

By making interwebbers pay an alltogether reasonable fee, starting at 130,- euro for 6 embedded YouTube videos, they’ve managed to crack down on all those morally bankrupt people stealing material from its rightful owners.

In fact, I have some additional suggestions for Buma/Stemra. Just today I saw two people in the train sharing the two ear plugs connected to a single iPod. Best case scenario one of them might have paid for that music, but what about the other one? Perhaps train ticket collectors could be authorised to issue fines for this sort of blatant theft.

Another great idea comes frome a fellow concerned Buma/Stemra supporter, posted on this website. His suggestion is that the organisation should further explore the cash potential of ringtones and frequency of use. If a chatterbox gets more phonecalls than average, transmitting the ringtone more frequently, why not charge him more for its use?

Oh and Buma/Stemra, if you choose to implement any of the above mentioned ideas, I will be expecting compensation at a rate of let’s say 130,- euro per person fined/ charged additional costs. Are we good?

extra extra read all about it:

• Buma/Stemra announce new policy
• Bloggers, twitterbugs & co are outraged, start petitions, write letters
• Even politicians raise an eyebrow
• Buma/Stemra’s repsonse is as jurassic as it is brief: “Voor niets gaat de zon op” (the sun rises for free).

Le vent nous portera

After the Lowlands euphoria of the last week brokenbranches is now off to the South of France for two weeks of blissful nothingness. I’ll see you on the other side!

Je n’ai pas peur de la route
Faudrait voir, faut qu’on y goûte
Des méandres au creux des reins
Et tout ira bien là
Le vent nous portera

Lowlands 2009, Sunday

Sunday, the last day of the festival, absolutely crammed with must sees. Still sunshine galore and sweltering heat, but there’s no time to work on my tan, the race begins!

First stop of the day is the charming Fanfarlo: “We’re missing half our band because they missed the plane, we fucked up!” said frontman Simon Balthazar with an apologetic grin, “will you help us with clapping and singing?”. Not a problem!
With no drums or strings they had to adjust their set a bit, but it made the gig ll the more spontaneous and the crowd loved it. In fact, they wouldn’t stop cheering until they came back for an encore, at the Charlie stage! Unusual and justified. I enjoyed their Bonnie Prince Billy cover of A Minor Place too.

photo: 3voor12

After that there was some more Brooklyn based indie on the menu: Vampire Weekend. I’d been looking forward to their show as I missed them last year, but have to say I was a bit underwhelmed. They play their songs adequately, all the hits are in there and some new stuff too (bit more electropoppy it seemed), but therejust wasn’t any magic. Was it the heat? Or their lack of stage presence? They could do with a bit more livening up as far as I’m concerned.

photo: 3voor12

Next stop: the dogg pound in the Alpha tent. As there wasn’t really anything else decent on at that time, absolutely everyone was headed to see Snoop Dogg. I decided to admire from a far, but was still entertained by the greatest hits machine on stage. It would be nice to see Snoop’s darker side a bit more, but in this case it was a well oiled crowd pleasing festival set.

photo: 3voor12

After heated internal debate I decided to go and see Little Boots in stead of Patrick Watson, who were programmed in the same slot. Reason being I’d seen Patrick  four times before, but never miss Boots.
As I stood listening to her in the half empty India tent though, I got cold feet. Sure Little Boots gave a solid performance, but there wasn’t much excitement there. You can see the potential in songs like New In Town and Remedy, the rest is a bit bland and needs polishing. So after about 4 songs I couldn’t resist any longer, Patrick wait for me!

photo: 3voor12

I rushed into the front of the Grolsch tent which luckily had enough room for me to wriggle in and felt immediately at home. Truth is I could go and see Patrick Watson & is guys ten times a year and it still wouldn’t bore me. They had no problem mesmerising that big old circus tent right to the back with the clever build up of their songs.
For the encore Patrick asked the crowd if they wanted to hear The Great Escape or To Build A Home. What!? “TO BUILD A HOME!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, but alas.. He let some girl at the front decide and the dimwitted child went for the familiar Great Escape instead. Grrr. Maybe I’ll get my chance at Crossing Border in November.

And now, for the most anticipated act on my Lowlands logistical schedule, Florence and The Machine. I went to the Charlie stage over half an hour beforehand thinking I could get right in front, think again! Obviously the Florence buzz has spread, there were already quite a lot of people sitting on the floorboards to mark their territory.
I find it hard to describe what happened the 45 minutes after she took to the stage. This is going to sound horribly cheesy, but it was as if everybody there was temporarily transported to planet Florence, where there is love, drama, fairytales, hate, moon and stars and twilight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone, particularly at the age of 22 (!!!), be so vulnerable, real and compelling at the same time.

She stood there, red locks blowing in the wind, black dress floating up just enough to show gold sequined shorts, belting out one after another amazing song. The hopeful Dog Days Are Over, the tongue in cheek Kiss With A Fist, the hypnotising Cosmic Love, a more sultry version of My Boy Builds Coffins, each one a gem.
At the end of Drumming Song she spun around so vigorously she fell to the ground laughing. In between the songs she’s this slightly mad & chatty young girl, all giggles and funny stories. But then within seconds she has the ability to move you in a song. During her powerful version of You Got The Love a girl in front of me teared up and turned to her boyfriend for a big hug, I almost had a lump in my throat myself.
Florence seduced, mesmerised, shook, twirled, sparkled and sang her way right into my Lowlands 2009 no. 1 spot. My two “Florence virgin” friends who tagged along were also completely bowled over and gobsmacked. Can’t wait to see her full concert later this year!

Still on a high, we stuck around Charlie stage to see The Maccabees. The first few rows are filled with jumping indie teenagers, by the look of them all Brits. They sure know how to get a party going and Maccabees guitarist Hugo White plays on this to great effect. They perform a crackling set that thrives on their specialty of suppressed tension building up and the cool vocals of Orlando Weeks.
Although the Brit brigade love the more jumpy early work, the songs off their last album get a great crowd reception too. It seems their turning the corner towards bigger and better, I’m interested to see where it takes them.

As Lowlands draws to a close and pretty much everyone is on their way to see the Arctic Monkeys, I decide to take the road less travelled with a bit of Grace Jones (hula hooping her way through Slave To The Rhythm) and some festive Mongolian throat singing courtesy of Hanggai. Only at Lowlands.

Lowlands 2009, Saturday

After running around the terrain like a blue arsed fly on Friday I was very happy to see the Saturday lineup afforded me a bit more down time. I soaked up some sun for a while, listening to a floating opera singer dressed in umbrellas, how refreshing!

DeVotchKa gave the musical kick start to my day, and what a great way to get in the festival swing of things again. Sunshine, the newly opened up Lima stage and a sousaphone, what more could you want? Frontman Nick Urata’s vocals were hard to hear, but maybe that was because I was right in front of the stage. As expected, they closed with the beautiful How It Ends, much to the crowd’s delight.

When I looked back at the end of DeVotchKa’s show there was a strange sight to be seen, the entire field surrounding the Grolsch stage had become one congealed mass of immobile people all facing one way. Sure enough it was time for Lowlands’ worst kept secret suprise act, Them Crooked Vultures.
How strange to have such a massive turnout for a band nobody even knows yet. The only glimpses I got of the band were over a hairy nude back on the outside screen, but the sound had no problem reaching far and wide. QOTSA II anybody? It had that pleasing sharp and sturdy Homme sound and the animalistic Grohl drums, but I missed some catchy hooks to lure you into the songs. Memorable Homme quote: “It’s hotter than a klootzak in here!”.

photo: 3voor12

I decided to follow a few friends to Maximo Park afterwards, who were optimistically booked in the Alpha tent to say the least: it was barely half full. I finally figured out why the Maximo Park bug never got a hold of me, the songs just aren’t that great. Which is kind of sad, as it’s a decent band and singer Paul Smith is a natural born entertainer. The tragedy of being a great frontman in a mediocre band.

photo: 3voor12

If there were any doubts about Dutch sensation Kyteman and his Hiphop Orchestra justifying an Alpha slot, they were smashed to smithereens by thousands and thousands of festival goers pooring in and spreading out all around the tent. Kyteman has arrived, and so has his massive on stage posse, including a huge choir for the occasion.
I watched the whole spectacle from the top of the hill, and even from there it was impressive. Even though musically it’s a bit all over the place, the sheer enthusiasm and collective talent of the people involved pulls you right through. They pulled it off with gusto, well done.

photo: 3voor12

As Kyteman wraps up the sun sets on Lowlands and it’s time to shake some limbs, who better to shake them up for you than Basement Jaxx? Is their music a tad hysterical? Yes. Should producers Buxton and Ratcliffe refrain from singing temselves? Probably. Did anybody care on Saturday night? God no. They blew the roof off the Grolsch with their sample insanity and I jumped right the way through their set. They left the crowd begging for more, that’s how it’s done.

Lowlands 2009, Friday

Here we go with part one of the brokenbranches Lowlands walk through: Friday 21st of August. Luckily enough the thunder and hail storm the weather reports had been warning us about for days only amounted to half an hour’s worth of heavy rain and a few flashes, we were happily unimpressed and managed to get our little tent camp up no problem.

Feeling a bit groggy from Thursday night’s celebratory drinks we stumbled onto the sundrenched terrain on Friday around two, and were immediately welcomed by the sassy rhymes of Amanda Blank (my get um girls!), dressed in what is probably best described as a black swim suit and sneakers. Even though the festival was just getting started she gave a really lively performace and got the curious onlookers dancing. Good start of the day!

photo: 3voor12

Next we headed to the girl with the funkiest hairdo of the festival: La Roux. Her uncompromising brand of squealing is a bit of an acquired taste, but the songs are very well put together with rediculously catchy eithies synth and singalong lyrics. Enjoyable, but I wouldn’t have been able for more than a relatively short festival set. She wrapped it up with crowd pleaser Bulletproof.

photo: 3voor12

I was a bit afraid what to expect of Bon Iver playing in the big Grolsch tent as this is the kind of band you should really see as close up as possible. To compensate I snuck in the front and was not disappointed. The band managed to play a warm and intimate gig despite the setting, and with additional drums on stage they packed some more power into the songs which was definitely a good idea.
They played some interesting new material too (Beach Babies and Blood Bank among others), and got the crowd to sing “What might have been lost” during The Wolves, always a smart move during a festival.

photo: 3voor12

Holding onto our laid back mood we stayed in the Grolsch to watch wonderboy Zach Condon and band, otherwise known as Beirut. I was suprprised by how receptive the crowd was to their Yann Tiersen meets mariachi style music, and equally by how shy Condon is!
They didn’t blow me away (even with all their horns and trumpets), but they played well and had the crowd lovingly swaying side to side. Perfect soundtrack for a sunny mellow afternoon.

Right then, time to wake up and follow the masses to the stage among stages: Alpha. As we walk in Lily Allen is already in full swing, trotting around the stage in her high heels, flirting with the cameras filming her. She knows exactly what she’s doing and she does it well. Whether it’s the tongue in cheekiness of It’s Not Fair, the order to all flip the finger during Fuck You or a clubby cover of Brit’s Womanizer, we’re lapping it up. And she hit every note, credit where credit’s due.

From a cheeky girl to a cheeky chappy, next stop: Dizzee Rascal. He had the Bravo tent filled up without it being jam packed, everyone there seemed very up for some dizziness despite the temperature inside approaching boiling point. He mixed the old with the new, threw in some samples and a lot of “make some fuckin noise!”.
Even though the sound of tracks like Bonkers, Dirty Cash and Dance Wiv Me is commercial miles removed from his early stuff, the two work well together and the audience doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

At the end of the day I left all my friends (and most of Lowlands) who headed to the Alpha to see The Prodigy and I joined the minority splinter group in the India tent to see my most anticipated act of the day: Grizzly Bear. I was stood right at the front and got a good look at the harmonious Brooklyn foursome.
Southern Point made for an amazing set opener building up and quieting down again ending in a big climax. Their set was a mixture of soundscapes, beautifully layered vocals and even noiserock, with the Veckamtimest material as standout tracks. However, it soon became clear that the audience didn’t have the necessary patience for a Grzizzly Bear gig at this time of the evening (or maybe it was the niggling knowledge Prodigy was a 5 minute walk away?) and the tent gradually lost more and more people.
It didn’t bother me though, Grizzly Bear was my Friday highlight and I can’t wait to see them again in November!

Lowlands Roundup 2009

Almost forgot my traditional little post-Lowlands roundup! Well, traditional might be pushing it a bit, but I did one in 2007 and 2008. So here is a review of Lowlands 2009 in blurbs:

Best overall Lowlands performance (seen by me)
Florence + The Machine!!! Mesmerising. Overwhelming. Beautiful. Incredible.

Favourite glad-I-happened-to-pass-by-act
Hanggai. Who’d have thought inner Mongolian roots music would be so catchy! It was like Chinese polka with throat singing, quite the finale for the Lima tent.

Sad I missed…
Passion Pit, The Tenper Trap, Jack Penate, Metric, Peaches and most of all Fever Ray. So much to see and so little time!

Disappointing
Maximo Park. I now see why I never really got into this band, the songs just aren’t that great. Shame, cause frontman Paul Smith is obviously a born entertainer.

Most euphoric Lowlands 2009 moment
Saturday Night in the Bravo: Basement Jaxx blow the roof off with a frenetic performance of Where’s Your Head At.

Best crowd response
The Maccabees created an actual pit in front of the modest Charlie Stage, first I’ve seen there. And Fanfarlo charmed the socks of the audience who wouldn’t stop cheering until there was an encore, the only encore for a non-headlining act I witnessed.

Most fun had whilst dancing with friends
Lily Allen’s It’s Not Fair & Dizzee Rascal’s Bonkers.

Worst gig ending
Basement Jaxx. Everyone seemed to be stupefied it was already over. They could have kept it going for at least another hour I’d say.

Funniest on stage moment
Grace Jones’ amazing 61 year old hips keeping a hula hoop going for the entire duration of Slave To The Rhythm. Or Patrick Watson’s guitarist Simon Angell using an inflatable guitar thrown up from the audience. Or Florence spinning around so vigorously during Cosmic Love she fell down.

Most exciting outfit
There were quite a few! In passing I saw Patrick Wolf’s extravagant gold ensemble with blond whig to boot, there was Amanda Blank’s uncompromising bathing suit-esque getup and of course, Grace Jones takes it that bit further working it in a G-string and corset.

Best and worst covers
Best: Florence did a nicely customised intro using Fever Ray’s If I Had A Heart. I also really enjoyed Fanfarlo’s cover of A Minor Place by Bonnie Prince Billie’s. Worst: as much as I loved the Bon Iver set, I wasn’t that much into the drawn out cover of Talk Talk’s I Believe In You.
There was some nice sampling going on as well, Dizzee used MIA’s Paper Planes to great effect and Basement Jaxx even managed to work Somewhere Over The Rainbow into their set.

Funniest camping moment
That would have to be friend MBR stumbling into a stranger’s tent (slightly intoxicated) about ten metres from his own, crawling into their sleeping bag and konking out blissfully unaware, only to be woken up a few hours later by the rightful owners returning home! “What are you doing? This isn’t your tent is it?”

Raise it up, raise it up

It is done. The tents are back in their carrier bags, empty plastic cups are strewn around the desolate looking terrain, the neon lights no longer illuminate the festive music carnaval that was Lowlands 2009 for these past three days. All that remains now is a an aching bodies, bags full of  clothes impregnated with dust, sweat and beer and a feeling of satisfied exhaustion.

Before I crash and burn I felt I should post my festival highlights in this state of near sleep, so I can’t spend too much time deliberating about their precise order. I saw 22 shows in three days (when I say “saw” I only count the ones I watched for at least 2/3 of the set). Out of those 22 I have to say not one was a big disappointment (is that the afterglow talking?) and many were memorable.

Without further ado, the brokenbranches top 5 acts at Lowlands 2009:

5.  The Maccabees
4.  Basement Jaxx
3.  Fanfarlo
2.  Grizzly Bear
1.  Florence and the Machine (the no. 1 by miles, devastatingly good!)

Stay tuned for day by day brokenbranches reviews!